“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.” Pablo Picasso

Officially my healing art story began in 2002, but in reality, it began many years before that I just didn’t know that I was using art to heal and process the hurts of life. Now years later I realize art has been a constant companion, a wonderful vehicle of release, and a healing balm for my heart and soul. If you’ve read my artist statement then you already know that as a child I loved to doodle and used music to cope with life as an adolescent and as a teenager. Life happened and as a result, I became immersed in the activities of daily life, work, and a social life that I walked away from creating art and playing music.

In 2002, my husband came home from work with a red face and puffy eyes. I knew something was drastically wrong. I never imagined that I’d hear the words that came out of his mouth but I did, and my world was upended, shook, and twisted inside out. He had realized that the life we had created was not what he wanted and asked for time apart. I was shattered. My mother instantly was at my side and came to stay with me. She comforted and consoled me. In her infinite wisdom, she knew I needed something else to move my healing process along and enrolled us into a simple beading class. It was here that I was back on the road to creative expression, finding my voice as an artist, and utilizing art as a healing balm for my mind, body, and soul, and a tool of self-discovery. Thankfully my husband and I reconciled. We continued to grow our family and with each other.

In 2008, my brother was tragically killed and I was hit with waves of grief. The waves were so strong I felt like I was drowning. I found solace in writing. I looked to the spirit realm for help and answers. I dove deeper into art and my art tools became constant companions of comfort, love, and healing. The waves of grief lessened, but I knew in my bones that I needed ceremony to release the lingering emotions of grief. Art became my vehicle to wellness, healing, and release. Sometime in 2010, I decided that engaging with ceremony and art as a release was necessary, and to do this I would need to travel to NY on the anniversary of my brother’s death to release my grief and find healing through the act of release. So in 2010, 2011, and 2012, I traveled home to central New York to lay artwork on his cemetery plot. Art became my healer and my way of finding light in a period of darkness. Losing Jon was like nothing else I had experienced. I felt broken. My heart was severed and bleeding. Using ceremony and ritual to process these intense feelings I began to find healing and wellness. My heart started to heal and I was able to piece myself back together and find wholeness again. With each passing year, you can see my art change and through art, you can see the healing portal that allowed the light to fill my being and the darkness begin to lift. It was during this time, I knew deep in my being that I was placed on this earth to help people with grief and emotional processing through art. I had witnessed firsthand what art had done for me and I knew I could walk others through it too. I just didn’t know how or what that looked like.

In 2012, after 10 years of reconciliation and 18 years of being together, my husband felt that marriage was no longer his path. The waves of grief had begun once again. A large tsunami had hit my heart and I found very little relief from my grief and sadness. Once again, I felt broken. I felt like I was losing everything. My marriage was done. The life I built and knew was unraveling and gone. My children were being shuttled between two homes. Financially I was drowning. My best friend and companion was gone and unavailable. And the woman I was looking at in the mirror was unrecognizable. Again, I turned to writing and creating art. I dove deep into these portals of creation. I looked to the spirit realm for answers. I enrolled in classes to help me heal. I became Reiki I certified and read books on healing, energy, art wellness, parenting, and anything else I thought was going to help me through this difficult time. I also needed a physical release so I started riding my bike and running. I spent hours in nature soothing my heart and soul. I continued to create art and be present for the healing process it lovingly provided.

Four years roll by and in those four years my step-father dies, my mom is diagnosed with lung cancer and comes to live with us, I’m financially unstable, and my grief is heavy and strong. Through it all, my constant companions of healing and soothing balms for my soul are art, writing, nature, physical exercise, eating healthy, and reading self-help books. I went within and used art as a tool of healing, self-discovery, and to transform my hurting heart. Art opened a world inside me and allowed me to navigate myself and my grief in a deeper way. In 2015, my best friend and soul sister enrolls me in an intuitive painting class and my world is transformed. I discover parts of me that I didn’t know existed and that I CAN PAINT!! Through this newfound form of creation, there’s a giant shift of healing. Along with this self-discovery and transformation, I explore my purpose of healing art and the skills I have to offer others.

In 2016, I am blessed with an opportunity to sell my paintings in a gallery show. I’m nervous and excited! Then on June 26th, I receive notice that I need to leave the place I had called home for the last eight years so the owners can sell the house I was residing in. I have one month to pack and purge my home of eight years, find a new place to live and find a place for my mom. Once again I’m sitting with strong waves of grief. Luckily, senior housing opened in perfect timing for my mom, and my then ex-husband invites the kids and me to stay at his two-bedroom TINY apartment. We move in and I have less than a month to crank out art and paintings for my gallery show. Still recovering from the loss of my marriage and now the loss of my home, I go within. I dive deep into my feelings and swim in the emotions all of these situations caused. I release my grief by using ceremony, ritual, and art. I use my time of painting to search for myself and find healing for my heart. There really aren’t words to describe the spiritual experience I found. It was such a profound time of accelerated growth and transformation.

The community’s response to my art and the healing playshops I was giving provided a door of exploration and navigating what the future of my healing art services would look like. I started offering playshops more regularly and a few healing art sessions here and there which provided wonderful connections with people and more doors to open.

During this time, my husband and I once again reconciled and life continued. My mother’s cancer came out of remission and she needed more care, so she moved in with our family. If you’ve cared for a sick loved one, you understand the demands of caregiving and how taxing it can be your energy, well-being, and the overall state of your mental, emotional, and physical health. During that time of caring for my mom art was a constant companion and healer.

At the end of 2019, my mother passed away. The day she transitioned, I knew in my heart and deep in my bones when I awoke that morning that it was happening. I intuitively knew I needed to prepare for the transition and start gathering what I needed to provide a transitional ceremony for her. This began my grief healing. Prior to her passing, I made a floral mandala on her body to ease her transition and aid in her healing and mine. As I lay in the bed with her and witnessed her take her last breath, there really aren’t words to describe the grief I felt. Shock and sadness flooded my body. Yet, I felt comforted by her. I started cleaning her body and provided a cleansing ritual and ceremony for her to ease her transition into the spirit world. I created a new floral mandala on her body, read poems of healing, made a plaster mold of her face, and took painted handprints. It was such a blessing to be able to provide this ceremony for her after she passed. Being able to dance with ceremony and ritual as well as art the night she passed helped me with my grieving process and allowed me to emotionally be in a place of deep love.

In 2021, I knew it was time to honor my mom through art and conduct my own grief healing art session. For almost two months, I showed up in front of the canvas painting my heart out and engaging with ceremony and cleansing rituals. When I was finished and stood in front of my canvas, a wave of love and emotional release washed over me.

Over the last two decades, I have really stepped into my shoes as an intuitive artist and healing art facilitator. My experiences have allowed me to understand the shifts created by grief and what art can do to help us find our way back to healing. Although my healing art story centers around grief, I have used art for a multitude of situations and experiences. Art and creative expression provide a way for me to dance with self-love and self-care. It has provided an opportunity to move through the emotions of anger, self-doubt, hurt, sadness, and disappointment. Art has given me a self-discovery tool and allowed me to uncover areas of myself that needed to be transformed. Creative expression has provided a beautiful reflection in order for me to see myself and my world. As time passes, I continue to develop as an intuitive artist and follow my intuition regarding the tools of ceremony, ritual, and artistic play and release. I continue to use these tools on the birthdays and death dates of those I’ve lost, on the full and new moon, and anytime my heart calls for release. Holding on to situations, emotions, and anything calling to be released causes a dis-ease in our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies. Art has the power and capability to restore balance, provide a release, and transmute the energy of our emotions. The use of color and ceremony allows our energy to shift and puts us back on a path of wellness.

If you’d like to use color, cleansing ritual, artistic play, and creative expression to work through life’s challenges, grief, pain, fear, or for self-discovery, please reach out to me. I’d love to have the opportunity to work with you and hear your story.